5 Things The Carters Have Taught Us About Love, Marriage and Infidelity

Beyonce and Jay Z Carter are undoubtedly the Queen and King of the entertainment world.

Individually, they have both managed to dominate their fields to the point that their names have become synonymous with everything their separate musical genre’s stand for.

Together, they have become such a force that the impact of their combined influence is enough to change mindsets and sway opinions.

The Carters are no MJs. The world will always hold Michael Jackson close to its heart. But the global love for the Carters was enough to have the entire world at the edge of their seats awaiting the birth of twins, Sir and Rumi Carter, so there must be something to say for the hold the Carters also have over the world.

But with all that love from so many all over the world, there comes an attendant scrutiny that seems to always follow every celebrity who’s worth being put on the “A” list. So it seems impossible to be at the center of all that fame and popularity in the way the Carters are and still be able to manage your personal business and life without having every part of your private shit become public news.

Yet, somehow, Beyonce and Jay Z have managed to do it, and here are 5 things they’ve taught us about infidelity, marriage and love that our non-celebrity selves can learn from.

1. No one is perfect; everyone falls: When the rumors of Jay Z’s infidelity began circling, people found it hard to believe. Not just because of who Jay Z is, but because of who Jay Z is with. Beyonce? You cheated on Beyonce? Who cheats on Beyonce? Women everywhere were heartbroken because the fact was if a woman as beautiful and talented and successful as Beyonce couldn’t get her husband to be faithful, what hope did any of us basic women have? But the truth is, no matter the man and no matter the woman he’s married to, no one is perfect, everyone falls. We’re all infallible, and that a man cheats is not a reflection of something his wife did wrong, but on himself.

2. Protect your marriage; Seek Help and Keep your shit private: This doesn’t mean ignore the problems in your marriage and even if your life is in danger as a result of domestic abuse you shouldn’t speak up, but rather than involving third parties or the entire world on your issues, get professional help. Beyonce and Jay Z went through counselling and were able to come out stronger on the other side.  

“[Beyonce] is my soulmate, [she’s] the person I love…We were never a celebrity couple, we were a couple that happened to be celebrities. We are real people.”

3. Find the person you love and hold on to them: During an appearance on The Van Jones Show, Jay Z says the reason he fought for his marriage with Beyonce is because, “it’s my soulmate, it’s the person I love. You can love someone but if you haven’t experienced love, and you don’t understand it and you don’t have the tools to move forward, then you’re going to have complications and you can either address it or you can pretend until it blows up at some point. For us, we chose to fight for our love. For our family. To give our kids a different outcome. To break that cycle for black men and women…We were never a celebrity couple, we were a couple that happened to be celebrities. We are real people.”

4. If you’ve done wrong, be ready to fix up!: Everyone falls sometime, but as Jay Z goes on to say in his interview, “The best apology is changed behaviour.” You can’t make excuses for your mistakes or try and explain them away. You have to own up to them and try and fix them.

5. If you stick with it, there’s something beautiful on the other side: The ultimate lesson I believe we can all take from the Carters is the fact that there is still hope on the other side. If you’re willing to put in the work, work on your marriage, continue in commitment with your spouse, every marriage that has gone through infidelity can heal again. And that is the most beautiful lesson we can take from that.

“The best apology is changed behaviour.”

Do you agree that there are things we can all learn from the Carters and how they handled their marital issues? What other lessons did we miss? Or do you think there isn’t really anything worth learning? Share your opinions in the comment box below.