The 100/100 Marriage

All husbands and wives have expectations of how the relationship should work. Often, they assume, “My spouse will meet me halfway.” Over the years we’ve heard couples talk about having a 50/50 marriage. “You do your part,” the thinking goes, “and I’ll do mine.” But while this concept sounds logical, couples who try to live it out are destined for disappointment. One reason why is that we focus more on what the other person is giving than on what we are doing. So we withhold love until the other person meets our expectations. Of course, it’s impossible to know if a person has ever met you halfway. As Thomas Fuller said, “Every horse thinks its own pack heaviest.”

Early in our marriage, we tried this plan. I would give affection to Barbara only when I felt she had earned it. Barbara would show me affection and praise only when she thought I had held up my end of things.

Contrast this with the type of love God shows for us. No matter what we do, He gives us 100 percent. He gives us love even when we don’t deserve it!

So I propose that couples adopt the 100/100 plan in marriage. Under this plan, each person gives 100 percent … no matter what the other person does.

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.